Greener on the other Side

I must say the grass is quite green on the other side indeed. I like green. Green is pretty cool. Green is pretty easy on the eye and on the heart. I don't care. More or less. Less or More. Give or take. Whatever. I don't care - truly and honestly. I am officially unconcerned and indolent, and I have been examining my serenity for an Achilles' heel all day with a massive loupe of doubt. There is none. Zero points of attack. Doubts baseless.

And believe it or not, I find it hard to cope with this sensation. I am well experienced in riding the sine-curve of sentiments. This sobriety, however, amazes me. I am baffled.

Another sweet lesson on the road to emotional wisdom or gruesome apathy? Am I calluous and dulled or prudent and mature? I can't really decide which of those attributes I find more vile.

On the other hand, I have to be true to my own assertation and bow before her majesty, the truth. And the truth is: I don't care - without being indifferent. This new attitude is fairly fuss-free to live with, and I am beginning to wear it with a certain nonchalance and pleasure. Nothing can happen to me in the land of "I don't care", and there isn't even the smallest trace of dismal boredom or non-inspiration attached to this posture. Quite the contrary. Casualness is sparkling, inspirational, colourful, and my mind comes up with perfect advertising straplines while I am trying to find the right words to describe this condition.

But maybe I should keep my mouth shut and not talk about it. Maybe I should store it away unuttered in the same drawer where happiness and the idle state are scratching each other's backs. I have a feeling that "I don't care" is one of the unpopular wallflowers on the playground of confessions.

But yet, it is what it is: Green. I like green. Green comes with a double-e, just like "free".

[...]Come now, you're not a brute beast, think upon these things and you'll see how all becomes clear[...] ~ from "The Endgame" by Samuel Beckett