Donnerstag, 22. November 2012
Trial & Error.
Sonntag, 11. November 2012
About a sleeping muse & the sour taste of La Dolce Vita
Montag, 23. April 2012
Good bye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory and there you will always be

Sitting in between boxes, getting ready to move to Italy, I can't help but reminisce.
I am thinking back to that day two and a half years ago when I first set foot on this island to embark on an adventure of emigration that was still unwritten. Little did I know then what to expect. My pockets were filled with most diverse sentiments, the heaviest ones being fear and anticipation. Both of them travel companions that I could have left at home - in Munich. Whilst trying to find my way in London, I learnt that nothing can happen to me as long as I trust myself and my instincts and slowly but surely fear turned into confidence. The same applies to anticipation, as how can you draw an image of something you haven't seen and experienced yet, how can you look forward to something so novel that you can't grasp it? Now I know that it doesn't make sense to look ahead and to waste energy on the absurd attempt to anticipate pitfalls and peaks, I learnt to let go and rely on myself and my talent of finding like-minded companions at every corner – no matter where I am. I am myself wherever I am and that's enough.
With another emigration ahead, I can unequivocally claim that my London adventure was worth every smile, every tear, every effort and every single minute. When I will depart in a couple of weeks with yet another one-way ticket in my hand, I will be fully laden with a million memories. And as time isn't linear and there is no difference between the past and the present, the moments that made me happy here, are going to make me happy forever.
I have met plenty of amazing people in this city and some of them have turned into true friends. London is a pool of creativity and as such hosts many brilliant minds. It is a pot of folly and individuality and has inhaled and embraced the virtue of tolerance better than many other cities on this planet. This above all is one of its most precious traits. But it has its downsides. As per the concept of superlinear scaling, the bigger the city, the more the average citizen owns, produces, and consumes - referring to goods, resources as well as ideas. We all participate in this process, manifested in the metropolitan buzz of productivity, speed and ingenuity. Doubling the size of a city increases wealth and innovation by about 15 percent but it likewise increases the amount of crime, pollution and disease by roughly the same amount.
So, no wonder London is bursting with creativity and ideas but also with their counterparts paralysis and monotony. And they walk hand in hand and create a big gap between the strong and the weak. It took me quite a bit of time to realise that something that on the face of it appears to be most heterogeneous can be very homogeneous within its heterogeneity. I also found out that the much cited fast pace of London is far away from being an abstract tale but as a matter of fact a euphemism. This place is operating in a speed that is infectious. At first, you don't realise and then somewhere down the road of acclimatisation you find yourself running instead of walking and whatever you do, you do it as quickly as possible even if there is no rush. I personally came to terms with the fact that the London pace had rubbed off on me when I went back home to visit slow and peaceful Munich. Measured against my inner London clock it felt as if the people on the sidewalks were crawling in slow-motion, and ironically enough it made me nervous.
But despite the hustle and bustle, there are plenty of friendly faces to be found here – wherever you go, a manner that also rubs off. Not so long ago I ordered a coffee in a bar in Berlin – in the London style by asking "Could I get a coffee with a dash of cold milk, please?" and the waiter looked at me slightly confused and replied "Yes, of course" - with his eyebrow raised and an insinuating question mark hanging in the air.
But in the end it always comes down to the people, no matter where you are. And also in this case, it was the people I met that turned my London experience into a chapter of excitement and inspiration. I didn't feel alone or bored one single day because I was surrounded by creatures that can only dwell in London. The density of human brilliance is certainly a result of the city's nature. But the good thing about people is that you can keep them if you want to.
And now it's time to follow the sun and my heart and focus on the next chapter of my adventurous tale. This time, however, I am neither scared nor do I try to anticipate what is going to await me there. I just pack my boxes, put on my travel boots and breath in deeply being grateful about living a life of surprises and adventure. Farewell, London and thank you for everything!

Donnerstag, 29. Dezember 2011
About a wolf's head and the cave of ignorance

When I was a child I had a cactus of great stature that was placed on the window board of my room. I loved this prickly plant. Funnily enough, I thought it was the prettiest thing I had ever seen, and I often looked at it in broad daylight without the slightest fear or suspicion. It was a cactus. Nothing more. Nothing less.
But I was four years old at that time and as such rife with groundless anxieties that rose as soon as the sun set. Ghosts lived under my bed, witches in my wardrobe and ugly little goblins in my doll house. In an attempt to secure my nighttime peace, I negotiated a comprehensive code of conduct with the spirits that I believed to haunt the house. Every night I had to execute one and the same routine to make sure they weren't allowed to leave their hiding place to attack me during my sleep. It was a fairly arduous choreography that had to be completed without a mistake but once I managed to make it, I thought myself safe.
Until the day when the species of wolves entered the circle of my enemies. For one reason or another, I developed a sheer terror of these quadrupeds although my parents repeatedly promised that they had long left Bavaria to move to the neighbouring countries in the East. There is no need to mention that my parents' pledge wasn't worth a penny at night. The absence of daylight turns every children's room into a projection surface for infantile phantasies and horrors, and my imagination was as vivid as my courage was absent.
In this particular case, a wolf had settled behind the rifle-green roller blind that my parents lowered in the evening before they sent me to bed. The predator appeared as the shadow of a big wolfish head that looked so terrifying that it either deprived me of sleep or gave me horrid nightmares. This went on for a couple of months - although the childish awareness of time can be misleading here - until one day a true miracle happened. The wolf head underwent a wondrous metamorphosis and turned into a horse - an animal that I was devoted to with great affection.
I believe, it is the fear that explains why the existence of a wolf on my window board hadn't aroused any suspicion, whereas the horse head did. I looked into the matter with a first sprout of ratio and finally mustered up the courage to look behind the blinds as soon as I was sure that the horse wouldn't turn back to its wolfish state.
Today, I can't remember if I was surprised or happy to find out that it was the cactus who staged a nocturnal shadow play, and that the wolf had transformed into a horse because my mum had turned the cactus around to make sure it wouldn't lean towards the sun whilst growing.
Years later, I was reminded of this incidence of enlightenment during a philosophy class. The subject was Plato's "Allegory of the Cave" that is part of "The Republic" and, very briefly, draws on the image of objects and their shadows to examine how the human perception and denomination of matters is subject to education.
Today, I was thinking about the allegory and enlightenment in general as sometimes I find it rather boring to live in the undeceived age of education that offers scientific answers to most or let's be honest almost all of my everyday questions.
How astonishing it must have been when mankind found out that the world wasn't flat. Sometimes, I would prefer the company of questions marks and could easily do without the opportunity to turn each query into a solution by combing through the sheer infinite pool of knowledge that is out there. All I have to do is browse the books, the web and it won't take long before I am presented with one crystal clear fact or several methods of resolutions that I can then examine and apply to my liking. Wouldn't it be nice to not know things for a change? Wouldn't it be nice to be clueless and unillumined sometimes? Wouldn't it be nice to have access to the cave of ignorance? If you have the key, please get in touch.
"Any one who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eyes are two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light, which is true of the mind's eye, quite as much as of the bodily eye, and he who remembers this when he sees any one whose vision is perplexed and weak, will not be too ready to laugh, he will first ask whether that soul of man has come out of the brighter light, and is unable to see because unaccustomed to the dark, or having turned from darkness to the day is dazzled by excess of light. And he will count the one happy in his condition and state of being, and he will pity the other; or, if he have a mind to laugh at the soul which comes from below into the light, there will be more reason in this than in the laugh which greets him who returns from above out of the light into the cave." ~ Plato, The Republic
Dienstag, 6. Dezember 2011
Morituri te salutant

This morning I left my house with itchy feet and a mind as light as air.
Rushing down the frosted streets, I soon felt a cold breath in my neck catching up with me and my thoughts. On my heels: myself - in the guise of a vulture not yet fully fledged.
"Run!", it crowed. "Run - as fast as you can. Until your heart leaps out of its cage so you can catch it, dissect it. So you can hold it in your hands and examine it, and look for the holes and the voids."
"Scream!", it squealed. "Scream - as loud as you can. Until your lungs jump out of your chest and your voice hits the end of the world to come back like a boomerang that cleaves your heart in two. As sometimes one heart is not enough and you need two to beat against the trials of the past."
But I stood still and swallowed my voice.
Sometimes one heart is not enough but two are too many - just as sometimes the world is too big a place but yet too small.
And what's the use of a heart if you need to split it in two for it to be great-hearted enough to revoke the phantoms of history?
What's the use of a voice when you need to send it around the world for your heart to listen?
I shook my head and resumed my walk but ever since a shadow of an unfeathered vulture has been flitting about somewhere near me.
"It disturbs me no more to find men base, unjust, or selfish than to see apes mischievous, wolves savage, or the vulture ravenous." ~ Jean-Paul Sartre
Freitag, 14. Oktober 2011
\äb-ˈskyu̇r-ə-tē, əb-\

Light on. Light off. Light on. Light off.
On. Off. On. Off.
Bright. Dark. Light. Black.
Isn't it obscure how much you can read into the night?
The dark.
Blackness.
Blindness.
Darkness throws itself into the arms of our interpretation
as passionately as an untouched canvas into a painter's fantasy.
It has a million lines between its shades.
Thousand and one stories are lingering within it.
Countless dreams and nightmares unfold from darkness' black soil.
Myriads of hopes and anxieties hide in its cracks.
Naivety and suspicion dwell under its blanket.
Light, however, is a dog in the manger.
Light enlightens.
Light turns the colourful attires of esperance into bare facts.
Light purges the filthy garments of mistrust.
Illusions precluded.
Disillusion deluded.
Illumination unveils objects.
Objects cast shadows.
Shadows move with the sun.
And at the end of they day,
shadows blend into the night as if the object behind it had been erased.
Light on. Light off. Light on. Light off.
On. Off. On. Off.
Bright. Dark. Light. Black.
Isn't it obscure?
"There is a world of difference between truth and facts. Facts can obscure the truth." ~ Maya Angelou
Freitag, 2. September 2011
The Thieves of Time

When I was young and as impatient as you can only be when growing older seems to be something utterly desirable, I read a book: “Momo”, a fantasy novel for children written by German author Michael Ende, and also a parable that should change my little world and funny views in a very sustainable way.
Down to the present day, I am infatuated with the symbolisms that Michael Ende raises to depict human peculiarities, moral and social values as well as the concept of time and how to decipher and delude it. One supremely simple formula that Beppo, one of the novel’s protagonists, recommends to the main character Momo will probably always have a prominent place in my endeavour to embrace existence.
But before I give this recipe away, you might want to learn more about Momo. The story about this little orphan girl of mysterious origin is set in an unnamed city in the here and now. Momo lives in the ruins of an amphitheatre and enjoys a very special reputation within her neighbourhood due to her ability to listen. “Go and see, Momo!”, is the suggestion to everyone at loss. With open ears for everyone who comes to seek her advice, Momo helps people to find solutions to their problems – simply by listening, a gift that brings Momo many friends. Among them: Beppo, an old street sweeper, and Guido, a poetical tourist guide.
One day the idyll is broken, however, with the arrival of the Men in Grey. These scary and strange representatives of the Timesavings Bank have come to town to promote the idea of “time-saving” among the residents. With great success they sell their concept and talk people into depositing their time to the Bank that will return the savings later with interest. Slowly, all that matters to those who become clients to the Men in Grey is to save as much time as possible for later use. A gruesome business that gradually affects the entire city. Life becomes plain, sterile, hectic, devoid of all things considered time-wasting including social activities, art, imagination and sleeping. Clothing and buildings are designed the same for everyone, townscape turns into uniform monotony and life into one of hectic rush and precipitance.
The crux of the matter: the more time people save the less they have. In reality, the time saved is lost to them. Instead, the Men in Grey consume it themselves in the form of cigars made from the dried petals of the hour: lilies that symbolise time. These cigars are vital to the Men in Grey. Without them they cannot exist.
Momo, however, remains resistant to the Bank’s agents and their attempts to bribe her. The Men in Grey pull out all the stops to take care of Momo and derail her from thwarting their scheme, but they fail.
When even her closest friends fall prey to the Men in Grey and the world is almost fully in the clutches of the Timesaving Bank, the old and wise Professor Secundus Minutus Hora (the mysterious “Trustee of Time”) decides to take action. He stops time, which brings the whole world to a standstill, and asks his tortoise Cassiopeia to fetch Momo for him. Once arrived at his Nowhere House, Professor Hora equips Momo with an hour lily that gives her exactly 60 minutes to travel beyond the boundaries of time, and sends her off to overcome the thieves of time.
And I hope I don’t spoil it when I tell you that the story has a happy ending. Naturally. It is a children’s’ book - that still is a most suitable reading for grown-ups. As mentioned above, the story is not only beautifully written but also laden with symbolisms that easily can be translated into all areas of life – may they be personal or professional. The formula that impressed me so much as a child and that I allude to herewith can be found within the following original passage that I will also use to conclude, hoping that I made the book palatable to those among you who haven’t heard of Momo yet.
'You see, Momo,' he [Beppo, the street sweeper] told her one day, 'it's like this. Sometimes, when you've a very long street ahead of you, you think how terribly long it is and feel sure you'll never get it swept.' He gazed silently into space before continuing. 'And then you start to hurry,' he went on. 'You work faster and faster, and every time you look up there seems to be just as much left to sweep as before, and you try even harder, and you panic, and in the end you're out of breath and have to stop -and still the street stretches away in front of you. That's not the way to do it.'
He pondered a while. Then he said, 'You must never think of the whole street at once, understand? You must only concentrate on the next step, the next breath, the next stroke of the broom, and the next, and the next. Nothing else.'
Again he paused for thought before adding, 'That way you enjoy your work, which is important, because then you make a good job of it. And that's how it ought to be.'
There was another long silence. At last he went on, 'And all at once, before you know it, you find you've swept the whole street clean, bit by bit. What's more, you aren't out of breath.' He nodded to himself. 'That's important, too,' he concluded.
"Time is life itself, and life resides in the human heart."